My thoughts of Late

I realize that it has been a month since I have posted. 

I don't have much excuse except I just haven't.

I am so happy to announce (knock on wood) that I haven't barfed in almost 2 weeks! I am still taking my zofran for nausea and it is helping enough to stop the barfing. Hooray!

It is amazing how different I feel about my whole world. It is amazing how much better the environment in our house has been. 

It is amazing how much I can accomplish when I am not on the verge of barfing, or recovering from barfing or having stomach cramps or feeling like a truck hit me. It is wonderful not to feel that way anymore.

I told myself that I wasn't going to complain this pregnancy. I know several women who would happily chop off their legs to be pregnant -even to experience the barfing, nausea, and tiredness. 

I haven't vocally complained, but Ben says I don't hide my feelings well. 

I am excited to have another little one (as sick as I have been- it should be another girl- but I don't think it is.)  This is the first pregnancy that I am not totally sure about the gender like I have been about the other ones. And we are not finding out at the ultrasound- at least that is the plan. 

As much as I don't really enjoy being pregnant, I am grateful for this experience. I diagnosed myself with pre-partum depression. When I read post-partum depression signs and symptoms, I think, "Hmm.. that describes me when I am pregnant." I have felt really overwhelmed these last 2 months. And lazy and like a failure.  I have felt like there is no way I can add caring for another child in my day. I have felt incapable. Feeling overwhelmed and incapable is something that I rarely experience, as is having no motivation, being really irritable, and super tired. I keep telling myself that it will go away. And if history repeats itself, after I have this baby I will be ready to conquer the world one project at a time. I hope history repeats itself. I have also told myself that I really am as capable or more so than the women I know with four or more children. I am slowly believing myself. Since I haven't been feeling physically horrible for two weeks, I have improved mentally which has been such a blessing.  I can't imagine having all these feelings with a newborn, so I have gained more empathy for those women who have postpartum depression. I am thankful for amnesia and that I forget about most of these pregnancy and labor things before the process repeats itself. Otherwise, we may have stopped after just one! 

Besides being preggo- we have been blessed with other things this last month. 

Carter is starting to blossom intellectually and it is so fun to watch. Preschool has been a great thing for him. His confidence has improved and he is willing to try things that he wasn't before- such as writing and cutting. He is doing fabulous and I am so pleased with his improvement. He has developed a love for doing math. We do math everyday on the couch. He loves to write the answers in the microfiber with his finger. He loves it better than a whiteboard. He is watching Bridger read and wants to do his reading lesson. Those he has a shorter attention span for, but at least he is interested in trying. 

Bridger is reading well. He is reading books s..l...o..w...l...y... but can do it by himself.  His kindergarten teacher says he is a great class leader,  is helpful and pays attention and is a friend to everyone. She says that she is excited to watch him soar through out the year. He likes school and I am glad. I registered him for his singing class (TaVaci) again this semester. He had so much fun last spring and did such a great job that I was sure he would like it but for some reason he throws a fit every week and doesn't want to go. I don't know why. I know he likes to sing and he is really good at it. He was asked to do another solo in church for the Primary program in a few weeks and he is happy to do it. We watched High School Musical a few weeks ago. Both he and Carter really liked it and sing the songs from it. It cracks me up.

Sissy.... lets see. Sissy has learned to throw fits, demonstrates her opinion very clearly and has learned to pick on her brothers like they have picked on her. Her hair is at such a  crazy stage and she won't let me do it, so she looks like an orphan most of the time. Luckily, we still think she is as cute as can be and she makes us laugh everyday. As well as she displays her discontent, she also has learned to display her love and affection. She always sticks out her tongue when she is excited, and I would always say, "Give Daddy a lick!" instead of a kiss when he got home.  It made everyone laugh every time, so it keeps the tradition going. And now she lovingly gives everyone a little lick.  Yes, it is gross, but none of us mind. She gives her brothers hugs all the time and I love to see my children love each other. It is something that makes this mother very happy. 

Ben goes to work, comes home and works here, has been filling in for me with my duties when I am sick and then does even more. I don't know where he gets his energy, but I am so grateful. We cleaned out our garden last weekend, and that was a lot of work for him. The rest of us helped a little bit. We also planted 200 tulip bulbs... again alot of work for Ben and we helped a little bit. He did his last rodeo for the year and is sad it will be a while for another one. His job is going well and we still really like Boise. 

Our Boise Temple is done being remodeled and is now having the public open house. We are going tomorrow as a family. We are excited to have the boys go through and see a temple again. I am excited to have a temple open within 20 minutes of us. It has been a long year without one close. If you would like to see inside pictures of the new renovation, click here.