Branding and Calf Fries

This last weekend, just down the road from our farm, we had a chance to go to a Branding. It was quite the experience. We met the posse in the pasture and started to set up. It was just like you see in the Westerns. These cowboys rounded up the cattle and moved them quickly to the temporary holding pen easy as pie.  And then they cut the cows from the calf really quickly too. It made me think of the times we chased calves as kids and moved them from one pasture to the next or across the busy street. Maybe if we had horses and cow dogs our job would have been a little easier too. 

We have met several farm dogs in the last few weeks and I am amazed at how trained and obedient they are. I think it is because they aren't just pets, they are being used for a purpose- and every creature needs a purpose- and these dogs seemed to get satisfaction out of doing a good job. 

Cows and calves in the pen before cutting the cows out. 

Then the fun started. Our friend, J, wanted to give the boys a job. He suggested the jobs: one could hold the branding iron and the other hold the "bucket of nuts."  Huh? was the faces of our boys.

 J said to me, "You might be able to explain it a little nicer than I will.." so he left and we had a quick discussion of difference between bulls and steers, definition of castration and what all that entails. We didn't even make it halfway through the conversation when Carter decided he was out and would have no part...he decided he'd rather throw rocks in the creek than hang around and witness any of that.

 Where I come from, they call these Rocky Mountain Oysters. and there is no way in heck any of us would eat them.  J called them Calf Fries and he said they donate them to some big fundraising dinner for hunters/sportsmen where they savor this delicacy. And, you may already have guessed, Bridger decided he would hold the branding iron. So, I that left me in charge of the "bucket." 

Bridger with the branding iron, M is J's wife in the background getting vaccinations ready.

They had three horsemen in the pen, each would rope a calf by the hooves and drag them out to a trap that would hold the head. Obviously you want the calf to hold still while everything is being done. 

The girls took safety on the back of a golf cart. All these mooing cows and calves were making them nervous. 

Growing up, we had a chute that the calves would go through and we could lock the head. J said the chute just takes the fun out of it.  

Ben was asked to "run a needle" knowing that he had medical experience and what not. 

I don't think they realized he doesn't "run a needle" often.....or not at all... at least not at all in the last six years. It came back fast and he ran it like a pro.

Bridger's job was also keeping the cord out of the way and bringing in the iron just in time. Nobody got burned so I'd say he did a great job.

Smells just like the operating room. 

And since it aint everyday you get to harvest Calf Fries, I thought I'd give 'er a try. 

This was the approximate teaching I got:

J: grab and cut about halfway down. ( the testicles, and just using his pocket knife, mind you) Don't be shy, you aint gonna hurt 'im.

Me: What?! (pausing ) why do you think this won't hurt?

J- (I think more annoyed at my pausing than the question) Just carry on and be quick

So, I grabbed and cut.

J: Now, take your hands like a C and scrape down the belly til you see 'em shoot out, grab and split the two with yer finger. (Showing me and then made me do it.)

J; Now that you have 'em, pull hard, go up and down (the ducts) and scrape the membrane off with yer finger nail til you hear a pop. Once you hear the pop, you know you got it. Then, take the knife and scrape up and down til their cut. Spray and yer done. 

Step one with J watching over me

Step two

Step Three.
 Gotta love the Gap sweatshirt girl with designer shades holding up Calf Fries with a smile. 

J told me you're supposed to hold the pocket knife in your mouth in between the steps so it doesn't get dirty.  (K, wait, WHAT?! You want me to hold THAT knife in my mouth? First of all, who knows where that knife has been and second,  I KNOW WHERE that knife has been today and who has been holding it and with what hands and what those hands have been doing! You mean that knife?! Yep. That knife.) That sounded like a BAD idea, so I slowly and meticulously laid it on my knee and balanced it as careful as I could. It laid there perfectly for about one second  and it immediately fell on the ground. J: " And that's why you hold it in your mouth." Uuhh.
So he picked it up and sprayed it with the antiseptic/anti-insect spray to clean it. 

So on the next bull, guess where I put THAT knife in between steps. Yep. My mouth. 

The morning went quick. When it was over, the women folk threw a sheet over the flat bed truck as a table cloth, put out lasagna and bread, fried chicken, potato salad and slaw, soda and cookies.  Some cleaned up, And I scraped vas deferens from under my finger nails. We rinsed our hands (some in the creek.. one was nice enough to share a water bottle with me for rinsing.) and with those hands (what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right?) we enjoyed a great lunch in the pasture while talking farm.  Some of the kids threw dried cow pies at each other, not mine of course. 

The girls even bummed a horse ride

Kids played with the puppy and played fetch with the farm dogs

I was asking J who all these people were as we were setting up. He said, "family, friends, its all the same to us." And that is what I love about country folk.  Everyone is family and we were treated that way. We bought our farm to give our children experiences that would build character, expose them to things they otherwise wouldn't have chances to do and to teach them the value of hard work. So far, I think it's going as planned. Thanks J and M for a day of Branding and Calf Fries.